i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.