I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
