So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
