Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
