my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize