ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize