first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
