Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I will be naked everywhere
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
