please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
