We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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