I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
