i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
