You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
