Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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