i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
