That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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