I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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