Pants 0. Shit 1.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
