I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize