we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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