you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
there was a trapeze. enough said
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
