btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
