After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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