a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
