wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
