hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
