I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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