Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
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sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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