You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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