its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i love accidental penises.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize