I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
