my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
