hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
