YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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