at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
