aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize