so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize