She's JV to your varsity
You work out of a Hotel?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize