how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
