your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
