So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
