***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
