its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
