Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
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I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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