So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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