look no pants
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
