i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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