did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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