the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
