margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
