I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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