Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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