Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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