He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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