he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
