I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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